At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
