More tranny stories later!
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
