I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
