My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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