this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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