If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
