can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
