i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
