Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
