I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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