This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
