there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
