just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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