the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
