Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
cat food counts as protein by the way
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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