Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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