she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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