so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
