Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
