i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
