We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
