Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
