sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
