Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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