Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
