i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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