And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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