Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
