Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have already put on my inside pants.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
