How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
