your parents love me but you hate me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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