you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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