He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
