wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
