watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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