Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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