Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
