i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
