dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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