Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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