Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
