Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
