You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
