I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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