That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
