We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
