dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
