As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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