toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
