So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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